Scream Queens Season Two Recap: Halloween Blues

I guess it really happened, folks: Chad Radwell is actually dead. Not fake out dead, not looks dead but will come back to life five episodes later, not faking his own death to skip out on the wedding. Chad is gone. Chanel is devastated and promptly changes into her Jackie O outfit to grieve properly. She’s not the only one missing Chad (no, I don’t mean me). Denise Hemphill needs a moment alone with Chad’s body where she reminisces about the wild, sexy times they had re-enacting Brokeback Mountain. She vows to avenge Chad’s spirit by finally catching the killer.

Denise and Dean Munsch head over to Hannibal Hester’s cell to see if she’s ready to divulge who the killer is. Hester says she’ll tell, only after she gets to go to the hospital’s Halloween party. They say she can come to the party only if she spills the info first. Neither party can come to an agreement, but something tells me Hester will make it to the party regardless.

Chanel-o-Ween is back! Last year, the parody on Taylor Swift’s meticulously planned and precious Swift-mas was timely, biting and a real high point for the show overall. This year we’re retreading the same territory, but it’s honestly just as good. Chanel is feeling low and wants to cheer herself up by straight up telling her “lessers” that she hates them and she’ll never be like them. Previously the joke was that they didn’t understand she was mocking them, but this time around she wants it to be explicit. Midwestern teen girls are then gifted with bags full of pus, whore hearts and all kinds of delightful goodies. “I really hate you!” Chanel screams while they cry, overjoyed. “I know!”

Chanel’s in for an even bigger disappointment when she learns Chad’s vast fortune was left to Dean Munsch and the hospital. He had updated his will the day before he died, which somehow seemed suspicious to absolutely no one. Chanel screams and attacks the lawyer, and is dragged away to get checked up by Dr. Holt. She’s got rashes appearing on her (incredibly skinny! Emma Roberts is tiny!) arms and legs. Dr. Holt prescribes her medicine, and the two simultaneously flirt and imply Dr. Holt is the killer. Accusing someone of murder is foreplay on this show, after all.

Chanel is blue now, literally. The prescription for Dr. Holt turned her skin blue – something he claims was tampered with but could have possibly been his intention all along. She’s got a built-in costume now as Smurfette, as suggested by Number 5, but that doesn’t seem to cheer Chanel up.

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Back at the hospital, Denish bumps into the Green Meanie. She’s FBI trained, at Quantico and also from watching the TV show Quantico, so she’s ready to end this once and for all. She pulls out her gun and fires at the killer, but doesn’t get a chance to remove the mask and see who it was. Meanwhile, Chanel is attacked in the hospital by a new costumed killer: Ivanka Trump. Back at the Chanels residence (where Zayday also lives?) she recounts the story and discovers Chanel #5 was planning to dress up as Ivanka. Convinced she is the killer, the girls give Chanel #5 the ultimate consequence: you can’t come to the Halloween party.

The Halloween party is Dean Munsch’s big plan to lure the killer out, but Denise goes one further and lets the killer out: Hester, that is. Denise gives her a Jason costume and an axe, which is probably not a good idea for anyone. Chanel (dressed as Smurfette, naturally) decides to use a Ouijia board to contact Chad and ask if he loved her or Denise (dressed as the Khaleesi) more. They manage to channel Chad, where he claims Denise is a better lay, he’s golf buddies with Jesus and the killer is…. We still don’t know, because Zayday bursts into the room with a hospital emergency, ending the spirit connection. Zayday is  dressed as the Egyptian goddess Isis, much to the offence of Dr. Cascade (dressed as Ryan Lochte), who think she’s dressed up as the terrorist group ISIS. Rounding out the costumes: Chanel #3 is death, Dean Munsch is Alexander Hamilton and Dr. Holt is wearing his scrubs, covered in blood. “I’m the script for Batman vs Superman.” “You’re a bloody mess!”

Dean Munsch isn’t the only one going as Hamilton this year: dozens of Hamiltons pour into the hosptial sick from a Halloween party where they were bobbing for apples. The only one not sick is Snow White, who didn’t bob for apples but carried one as a prop. Dr. Holt thinks he knows the diagnosis and is ready to give treatment when Zayday interrupts and says they should like, question the patients first and not jump to potentially dangerous treatments. So Zayday has half an hour to find a new, different diagnosis or else Dr. Holt gets to poison everyone.

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Another costume reveal: Chanel #5 is IVANA Trump, the Donald’s first wife and Hester is the one walking around in the Ivanka mask. Chanel #5 is in the bowels of the hospital, gathering supplies to help the sick Hamiltons when she is attacked by the Green Meanie and stabbed. She falls, possibly to her death.

Zayday has figured out what happened at the Hamilton party: the apples weren’t poisoned, like Dr. Holt thought, but the water they bobbed for apples in was. Snow White remembers seeing a weird green costume guy walking around with the barrel. The Green Meanie attacked their party as a distraction to roam through the crowded hospital, which he’s currently doing.

Chanel #5 is somehow alive, and calling for help. Denise hears her and runs to help, but the Green Meanie is still there. He grabs a defibrillator and shocks Denise three times, and she seemingly dies.

So it’s possibly the end of both Denise and #5, with no new clues on who the killer could be. Hester is either in #cahoots or just likes to watch the world burn.

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