American Horror Story: Roanoke Chapter 8 Recap

After seven straight weeks of me raving, it was inevitable we’d come across an episode that breaks the streak. While Chapter 8 wasn’t necessarily bad, and I don’t think it threw a wrench that will ruin the rest of the season or anything, it was the worst thing AHS could be: boring. A filler episode. The wheels were spinning in place, but the tiny tease at the end could mean things will get better instead of worse. Fingers crossed!

Dominic and Shelby are watching Agnes get hacked to bits by the real Butcher and need to come up with a plan, ASAP. They run to the basement to hopefully escape through the tunnel, but Mott’s sometimes-helpful ghost has been replaced with the angry Chen family crawling on the ceiling. Dominic and Shelby run back upstairs and barricade themselves in the bathroom, where Shelby has given into the doom and gloom around her. “We’re going to die here,” she says and then makes it happen, slitting her own throat. Dominic is on his own now and trapped in the demon house with ghosts inside and out, and now a pile of corpses. Great.

cuba-gooding-ahs-roanoke

Meanwhile, the Polks are still slicing up Lee. She’s managed to keep her calm throughout this ordeal, never giving into the wailing that Shelby and Audrey are so fond of (Lee for possible last survivor?). They slice off her ear and complain about their portrayal as cannibal hillbillies on the show (but… you are cannibal hillbillies?) and reveal that the first ever Pig Man was a Polk.

The Polks are dreadfully boring. A cannibal hillbilly Texas Chainsaw-style family could be an interesting edition of American Horror Story, but as a one-dimension and cliche side plot to a much richer season, it fails. Kill the Polks off already, they mean nothing. Lee manages to connive and seduce a Polk son into first letting her record a video for her daughter (where she confesses to Mason’s murder! Who saw that coming!) and get close enough that she can attack him and escape.

The next room over is where Audrey and Monet are tied up together (why did the Polks separate them like this?). These Polk brothers are into teeth, which apparently do rain down sometimes, but there’s been a bit of a drought so they’re coming after Monet’s. Her chair breaks in the struggle and she runs out of there, leaving Audrey to deal with the nightmare alone. Monet is kind of a badass. “Sorry Audrey good luck see you at the Sci-Fi awards!!” Audrey finally gets feisty again, snapping at Mama Polk that her teeth cost good money and aren’t going anywhere. She’s wrong, of course, and Mama Polk manages to wrench one tooth out before Lee busts in and saves her. Audrey kills Mama Polk, and the two girls take off…

… back to the house? I’m not quite sure why this happens. They know everyone’s dead, shouldn’t they grab a car and go for help? Regardless, they’re back at the house and discover Matt’s headless body, before heading upstairs to find to Shelby’s dead body with Dominic. While he explains the very true story to them, they refuse to believe it and think Dominic is the one responsible for all the carnage. Audrey again with the best lines: “Shelby would never kill herself! She’s way too self-centered to commit suicide. I played her for six months!” They throw Dominic outside the room into the hallway, where the Pig Man was waiting for him. (Can the Pig Man not go through doors?) RIP Dominic.

Day breaks, and that usually means the ghosts are harmless. This would be a perfect time to go for help, but Lee wants to go back to the Polk’s farm and steal back her confessional tape. She tells Audrey that she wants the tapes so they can’t be used against them, to frame them for some crazy crimes, but let’s be real here. Audrey agrees for some strange reason (does no one want to go get help, like ever?) and they head outside to see the Pig Man taking off his mask to reveal Dylan (Wes Bently), another actor from the re-enactment. Wait, what?

So was the whole thing staged again? Or was Dylan hired to come by a few days in and scare everyone, not knowing that everyone was slaughtered already? Will Lee and Audrey even hear him out, or will he be branded guilty as quickly as Dominic was? And do we really have to go back to the Polk’s farm, like ever?

Until next week!

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